me and january 26. 2015 – ECT (test four)

yesterday, it finally hit me, and i broke down crying.

i’ve been scared, and my memory loss – mostly short-term –  is so overwhelming. i’m trying to stay positive and remember that this isn’t permanent – but it’s hard. it seems like all feelings (good and bad) are intensified and i’m having trouble calming down in my head.

since the beginning of my treatments we have been doing bilateral ECT (when the electrodes are placed on both sides of my head) and after complaining of the horrible memory loss my doctor has decided that with my next treatment (on wednesday) we are going to try unilateral ECT (when both electrodes are placed on the same side of my head.) hopefully this will help with the memory problem.

today, was my fourth treatment.

he lowered my seroquel down to 200 mg – which will hopefully help me lose some of the weight i’ve gained recently, with the plan to take me completely off of it by the end of the process.

he has many things that he wants to see for and from me:

– more energy

– not only less, but more effective medications

– regular talks with a good psychotherapist

– better sleep (which might require me to get a sleep apnea test)

– diet/exercise/etc.

maybe i can write more later. maybe i’ll remember. maybe things will make more sense and i can concentrate.

i’ll be back.

 

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~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2015/01/26.

5 Responses to “me and january 26. 2015 – ECT (test four)”

  1. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You will get through this and be better for it. You are so strong; stay positive. Good things will come!

  2. I’ve been following your posts about the treatment. Hope to see you in the next couple of weeks. –LEE

  3. Sean this sounds hopeful. You are often in my thoughts. I think I have hit bottom and thought you might understand. My email is pattigrubb@hotmail.com if you have time I would love so much to talk. Patti xoxo

  4. Sorry it has been so difficult. Am hoping so much that the ECTs ultimately help you get to a better place!

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