me and january 20. 2015 – ECT (test one – the next day)

i fell asleep fairly easily last night and while i do remember having some crazy dreams, they weren’t the nightmares that i am used to. i woke up later this morning to a very stiff neck that i could barely move.

most of the the day i spent in the thinnest fog – knowing everything around me, but moving slow and having some slight memory loss about events that had taken place today.

as a test i walked across the street to the grocery store by myself, where i roamed around for way too long and occasionally put a few items in my cart. it wasn’t worth it. i felt like a small failure that was dragging himself down the aisles with absolutely no idea what he was going to buy. it was like a shopping trip just to make a shopping trip – ugh.

i took a nap for a few hours this afternoon and while i know i dreamed, they weren’t unpleasant and i apparently slept like a baby.

it’s almost 8:30 now, and i feel both physically and mentally exhausted. memories and thoughts arise occasionally, and if they don’t vanish right away they almost don’t seem worth it to share – lest i seem idiotic and/or whiny.

it’s like being high – without the fun. i do have some appetite though.

i took my night medications a few minutes ago – a little early for me, but i need to try and sleep.

ECT treatment number two comes tomorrow morning.

while i know it is way too early, i’m not sure how i feel.

lethargy and the ability to lose my train of thought in an instant.

sleep sounds wonderful if i can keep the nightmares away.

i’ll write more when i come home tomorrow after treatment #2.

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~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2015/01/20.

2 Responses to “me and january 20. 2015 – ECT (test one – the next day)”

  1. Good luck tomorrow!

  2. Hope it goes all well and you can progess on with small side effects. They should do so after the next couple of treatments

    Keep going with it. I so wish for you to see tesults. Usually if you find positive changes after three times then that can mean the more you go, the better and most effective it will be.

    Good luck! Xx

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