me and april 04. 2014

today i lost my job.

it was the one thing i had in my life that gave me some sort of stability. something i could always rely on to be there and help distract me from life.  it helped me gain some self-confidence and i met some wonderful people over the years.

i knew eventually my depression was going to win. and it has.

honestly, it’s made me a liability – something that i cannot argue with.

with those horrible medication issues i’ve gone through in the last month – i can’t really blame them for worrying about my health and scared about the uncertainty that comes with somebody like me.

i know it was nothing personal. i do believe that.

but it fucking sucks. i don’t know what to do.

i’m trying so hard to not think about it, but i can’t. of course i can’t. it’s going to fucking gnaw at my brain and my heart.

i’m also afraid that it really hasn’t sunk in yet.

that’s all i can say about it right now.

i’ll miss them.

~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2014/04/04.

12 Responses to “me and april 04. 2014”

  1. I am truly sorry for your loss.
    Gawd, I want to type “take care of yourself during this difficult time” but that just sounds so condescending and presumptuous.
    Instead I’ll just say – I’ve read what you’ve written, and I really feel for you.

  2. Where did you work? Sorry to hear that, Sean. On the bright side of things, there’ll be other jobs. ;0) I would use the time to explore other things that you enjoy doing, you know? Take it like a sabbatical, hombre. x

  3. I am so sorry to hear that. I do hope you can get something else soon. I know how hard it is to have this disease and be unemployed. I’ve been there for too long. Hang in there; you willl work again soon!

  4. I am so sorry Sean. So sorry. You didn’t deserve to lose your job. I really hope that it won’t send you in a more of a downward spiral. I also hope that something good will come out of this. Perhaps a better job and a bit of a change for you. Sometimes good things do come out of bad things.

    Sending you strength and support xx

  5. it is slowly sinking in, and i’m trying my best not to let it send me into another episode. i am just heartbroken right now, and it caught me by surprise. i’m going to try my best to keep my head up.

  6. Times like these are great for reassessing and nurturing yourself. Cherish it and take care. New beginnings and opportunities 🙂 best of luck!

  7. Oh Sean, I was so sorry to read this. I had to quit a great job a while back for the same sort of reasons, and it is so harsh, seems so final at the time, but it really does open new doors and ends up not being the end of the world, although there is a mourning period for sure. Just remember you have not lost a part of yourself, you still have all the talent you had before to help you rise up again to do and be whatever you want, you still have the power. xoxo

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