me and february 24. 2014 part fucking there

sometimes we find ourselves surrounded by the smell of sweat and it could mean a long day at work or a bouquet of flowers tucked neatly beneath the seat where i was supposed to find them but could not so I decided to let the car continue to smell of peonies and caterpillars.
until the owner gets behind the wheel and explodes the flowers for a wind ride through eternity –

once he started tattooing the maze on my arm I started to feel like everything just got more confusing –

molly, I miss the way you won’t hold my hand knowing before I did when the right time was to squeeze it for me. molly, you bandaged my room and walls with wonderful art and the chewbacca figure beneath my bed.

sometimes i wish you would have beaten the fuck out of me because i could see it in your eyes and I wouldn’t have had to swallow the mental side for years where it becomes a less familiar symptoms of child abuse but strong ones that will come back and choke you for years .if you wonder why i have such low self esteem… look no goddam farther and make me shiver when somebody hugs me.

you know – dead won’t hurt me any more. I assure you

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~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2014/02/24.

One Response to “me and february 24. 2014 part fucking there”

  1. I just don’t know what to say except I hope you find some peace if only for a minute at a time, and not to sound like a broken record, but you are really not alone. Big cyber hugs for you my dear ❤

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