me and october 15. 2013

i’m keeping busy in my dreams.

i’m still waiting to hear from the stranger who will become my new therapist and i hope  we are ready for each other.

i’m counting one two three empty bottles and watching a ladybug rest on my floor lamp.

i’m replaying the same song two hundred times like i always do.

sometimes i am thinking about her.

i’m balancing on a very thin string between smiles/cuddles and complete madness that is still allowed to include smiles/cuddles every half an hour or so.

i’m losing myself in fantasy small town clouds that are swelling.

i’m reading old notes and tracing fingers over old scars that are hiding beneath newer tattoos.

i’m laughing inside a little more often.

i’m somebody different in my cold cocoon – but this is okay.  i’m keeping hope and fun ideas up and taping them to the bedroom wall. i’m getting feedback from the other side and it is always welcome and i have made the decision that i will make it thru today and good job!

i’m still sad and thinking about the other avenues but they are all dirty and filled with shit and giant cracks in the gravel. all the signs are dark and smudged and point to places that don’t exist.

oh, october. every year.

Advertisements

~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2013/10/15.

One Response to “me and october 15. 2013”

  1. I feel you Sean x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: