me and august 29. 2013
things to analyze:
maybe i’m not a bad person but just strange or just strangely fucked.
mind/head/
ways to cope (good bad required or insane)
life and love – relationships and such
therapy and whether it is going to help me. maybe not him. maybe i need to approach the c.b.t. by myself
diet and grocery list
poems
how clean is this place? pretty clean for a guy
thinking of the past as an enemy?
hobbies. do i watch too many movies and smoke too many cigarettes? hmmmmmmm. no.
medications. pills pills pills. all the time like i am goddamn dying. am i dying? i mean faster than most people
guilt. ugh. analyze my guilt. it stinks like guilt should
start writing song lyrics or religious erotic fiction? or neither of those quite yet
why i cannot stop making lists
brain shocks
why it hurts to make lists
going forward but sideways first and sleep and dreams and shit like that.
~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2013/08/29.
Posted in august13
Tags: bipolar disorder, cigarettes, depression, eating disorders, guilt, hating self, insomnia, lists, medications, mental illness, therapy
alltheavenueslookugly 
Like a rip current. You can’t just swim forward or you’ll never get out. Sideways first. But you’re a strong swimmer. Religious erotic fiction. Very Interesting.
i thought you would like that part. 🙂
I like your mind. We are all strange and strangely fucked. And you can never watch too many movies. Lists are a defense against the gathering darkness, but awful how they can swallow you and spit you out, too. You write poetry? Would like to see some. I have scatterings of it at http://lepuslugubris.blogspot.com/ … BDErline.net is down, replaced by http://sisyphusbound.weebly.com/. I wish I would visit you more often, but so many times I just don’t visit anyone. Hope you are well, and holding on.
hey man, long time no talk. but no worries, as i find it hard to be internet social myself.
i do write some poetry, not as much anymore, but i’ve been thinking of putting some up. i will definitely check yours out tho.
take care always.
(I think my comment disappeared, so I apologize if this is doubled.)
I like your mind. We are all strange and strangely fucked. You can never watch too many movies. You write poetry? Would like to see some. I have scatterings over at http://lepuslugubris.blogspot.com/ … BDErline.net is dead, replaced by Sisyphus Bound (linked to name). I wish I would visit you more often, but so often I don’t visit anyone at all. It’s hard to be social.