me and may 26

in the midst of mini-breakdown and have neglected my duties and i wish to hell i could handle life right now – and i feel like my brain is losing the rest of what makes it run and all the stress is crushing

goddamn

soul.

depression is ugly and dark and sad and sick and it scares me.

it never gets better. the fear. one would think that after so many years – that after seeing and feeling all this – that i shouldn’t be as scared.

but i am.

the end of the rope is charred black and smelly as if somebody on the other side is lighting it on fire, letting it burn for awhile, and stomping it out. shortening it for me.

eventually we’ll meet and i’m sure i’ll see the biggest fucking smile in it’s eyes.

~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2012/05/26.

Posted in may

7 Responses to “me and may 26”

I have felt these feelings and I understand the fear. Hang in there and just know there are others out here that do understand. I use to sit in a corner with a flashlight all night because I feared what I would become in the darkness.

stuffredsaid said this on 2012/05/26 at 10:46 pm | Reply
I understand your fear…

Wishing you better days Sean. x

The Quiet Borderline said this on 2012/05/26 at 11:47 pm | Reply
honey its ok to be scared, your right, depressing is ugly, cold,, dark and sad, I don’t think anybody can actually can get used to this feeling, no matter how often a person experience’s it.
I know right now you are watching helpless as your world crashes around you, but honey you can begin to rebuild it once you start to feel better, (and you WILL get better) give your mind and body time to catch up with one another is all (((hugs)))

Angel O'Fire said this on 2012/05/27 at 1:46 am | Reply
Hospitalization does’t quell the fear at all? I’m in now. So sorry you’re sinking deeper!

magicallymad said this on 2012/05/27 at 7:40 am | Reply
Im really sad that you feel this way. I look at you and see a smart, funny as hell, very stylish, good looking guy and damn it people like you!!!! And don’t let every day shit consume you…… we all have stress in some way or another just get thru it one day at a time and if you don’t feel like doing it for the day then don’t. Take a day to do things that make you feel good. Love you BFF!!!!

Julie said this on 2012/05/27 at 8:20 am | Reply
Thinking of you…. hoping better days are ahead.

HopefulHellion said this on 2012/05/27 at 2:17 pm | Reply
i don’t know what else to say, except to thank you all. so very much.

alltheavenueslookugly said this on 2012/05/27 at 11:23 pm | Reply