me and march 20 – more.

today is just too much.

i left for work, not feeling great, but hoping i could push through it. some days are like that. you never know. but i try.

 

i won’t go into specifics, but i was scared for someone.

myself and a couple of other people were feeling helpless. they knew her better than i did, and if they were worried, i felt like there might be something to worry about. we couldn’t get a hold of her. none of us could. they got me her address.

i called the police of the town she lives in.

they told me to call back in an hour and they would tell me what happened.

15 minutes later they called me.

they asked me the same shit as the first lady i spoke to.

i gave them the same answers. the lady sounded more than annoyed, and i wondered if i was doing the right thing. maybe i was overreacting. i thought about my old friend that saved my life that time. i thought about how much i wished she had just minded her own fucking business. the lady sighed and said they would go check on her. i thought they had left already. goddamn police.

i went back inside to work. my head was a mess. i was worried and felt guilty. maybe i shouldn’t have done that. maybe i was messing around with something that was none of my business.

i left work.

on my way home, the police called me back. she was okay. she was upset (about whatever happened that day), but otherwise she was okay.

i told the police i was sorry.

they said it was fine. that’s what they were there for.

i feel conflicted. i am glad she is okay. i really am. but i feel awful for putting her through the process of having the police show up and everything. she was just napping.

i understand that most people will see it as me doing it because i was worried and because i care. i don’t know how i would feel if somebody did it to me. i wouldn’t blame them, i guess. i don’t know. i feel fucking strange right now. too much.

if she’s reading this…i am glad you are still here. i’m really really sorry if i caused any trouble.

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~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2012/03/20.

14 Responses to “me and march 20 – more.”

  1. Do you know how many times I’ve looked back and thought “if someone would’ve checked on me, that might not have happened.” Your heart was in the right place…you’re a good friend, Sean.

  2. I think you did the right thing as well. We could all be so lucky to have a friend like that.

  3. I agree. You had all of the right intentions there. Try not to feel bad about it.

    You are a kind person.

    The Quiet Borderline
    http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/

    • i know i did the right thing, and if it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else. it’s just hard because i remember how angry i was when someone did it to me. but it’s over. i can’t help it. time will tell.
      thank you again. you are also such a kind person. 🙂

  4. Don’t worry. Some day, when she looks back on it, she will smile, knowing that you cared.
    The Cockroach Kisser

  5. I would do it to you… HAHAHA… even if you hated me for it. Not out of evilness but because some days are better than others and what IF you had a good day the next time you woke up. So worth it. ♥

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