me and march 06 (cont.)
but to say more…
there are bugs that have invaded my brain and will not stop talking about politics and green fences and their opinions on everything in the world and they are hurting and annoying and perhaps the medication will calm them down and i am so fucking fatigued right now the world is spinning and i should work on writing this into the book but i cannot bring myself to work on anything at the moment – i can’t even open itunes to listen to the rapture.
my twitter and eyes are exploding.
i hear songs far away.
suicide is only a deep welcome rest.
i will be like this forever and maybe some day i will give up but for now i fight by waking up every morning. even when those mornings are filled with being scared that i will be like this forever.
alltheavenueslookugly 
Perhaps you will not be like this forever. You have hope because you do wake up every morning. 🙂 Try to wake up and instantly tell yourself… I will get better, I deserve to get better, life is going to be beautiful. Try it for a bit and see if it helps. I know that, for me, it does make me feel better. Maybe not all day, but for a time, and any time feeling better is better than not. ♥
You are in my thoughts.
it’s a struggle, as you well know. some days are better than others, and i can wake up and face the day and believe that someday it will be gone, or it will go into hiding enough that it will be easier to deal with. other days, the idea of getting out of bed is a horrible impossible thought. i think when we suffer we are able to recognize those good days and appreciate them more. i know i sure do. thank you, and you are in my thoughts as well. 🙂