me and january 06

status: no change. up or down. maybe a little more down. this would be the most boring roller coaster in the world if it weren’t so incredibly frightening.

there are so many things i want to do. i get sad when i hear of people who are able to conquer their shit and do amazing things. i wish i could. i can’t even force myself to do the things that i love to do.

i feel like i’ve given up. it’s hard to draw the line between acceptance and giving up, but i think deep down that i have crossed that line.

that light that everyone talks about–it’s not that bright anymore.

if emotions could just calm down.

there is no way to pull myself out of this.

i can only do what i can until i am done doing shit.

~ by alltheavenueslookugly on 2012/01/06.

6 Responses to “me and january 06”

  1. Day at a time ((((hugs)))))

  2. As above. Sending hugs xx

  3. I have been there my friend… and still go there on a weekly basis. The “light” gets hard to see… but sometimes I feel like our intense emotions are that “light”, we just have to figure out how to deal with them in the right way.
    I feel like I never accomplish anything… it is horrible. I have attempted college 3 times, been divorced twice. Engaged 3. One intense and horrible roller coaster. We will get our reward one day… have strength.

  4. i am sure trying. each day is a different struggle, and each hour is a different intensity of that struggle.

    just keep hanging in there. both of us. 🙂

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